Nobody's everybody's favorite
So you might as well just make it how you please
'Cause you can't be everybody's cup of tea
~ Kacey Musgraves
I am still learning how to be gracefully disliked. I see a lot of “self love” content on this topic saying “I am who I am and fuck you if you don’t love 100% of me!”
Personally, I don’t like this approach because the truth is I’m an asshole and respectfully, so are you.
When we reject anyone who doesn’t love us unconditionally we shut out meaningful and constructive criticism that might be painful at first but will ultimately help us grow.
I heard a phrase that has stuck with me:
There are four types of people in this world,
Those who like you for the right reasons
Those who like you for the wrong reasons
Those who don’t like you for the right reasons
And those who don’t like you for the wrong reasons
and there’s one group whose opinion you should listen most closely to - those who don’t like you for the right reasons.
I have worked hard to be able to distinguish who is what group in my life and as a reformed people pleaser, I have struggled to accept that I am not everyone’s cup of tea and THATS OKAY. Not every critic deserves to be heard but the ones who do are our best teachers.
I am happier now that I have let go of being “likable” and committed to becoming the best version of myself instead
I got this lyric tattooed from Pageant Material “I’d rather lose for what I am than win for what I ain’t” to remind myself that I’d rather pay the price of being myself than pretend to be someone else (among other reasons).
In order to choose myself I have to KNOW myself, which is partly why I love thru hiking. I get to spend time with myself doing deep self love work.
So this is me.
Dirty
Always in motion
No longer pretending to be perfect
Kind not nice
Honest not mean
Not pageant material
Non-binary
Dork
Always hungry
Always learning
Always working to be a better version of myself
Not “fuck you if you don’t love me for who I am” but “fuck you if you don’t give me a chance because of your own narrow minded prejudices or grudges.” Regardless, the price of pretending is higher than the price of being real
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