Being LGBTQ During the Holidays

Holidays are hard for everyone, even if you like the family/people you’re spending them with.

This is a time to be extra kind to one another and think about how our words and actions impact those we care about.

This can be an especially challenging time for queer and trans people for a number of reasons. This holiday season, introduce yourself with your pronouns. Understand that you may not know the pronouns of the people you love unless you ask.

It is ESPECIALLY important to ask young people their pronouns as they are figuring out how to be their authentic selves and their pronouns may have changed. Small actions to make inclusive spaces are critical to our collective wellbeing during the holidays

Unsolicited personal questions and assumptions about people’s sexuality or gender identity are never welcome. Questions like “do you have a boyfriend?” or “when are you having kids?” are examples of inappropriate questions.

This is the second holiday season since my family disowned me after coming out as trans and changing my name. Everyone except my mom turned out to be a transphobe unwilling to change

They hurled epithets over email and disinherited me so I said fuck all y’all and my mom and I got the hell out. She disowned them too

I’m lucky to have my mom and my chosen family because now I love the holidays. I don’t have to deal with anyone’s bullshit (and I save a lot of money on xmas gifts) but how different would my life be without a family member willing to accept and love me as I am? What if my mom was like the rest of them? I would be all alone or forced to hide who I am.

I think about all the queer and trans folx who have to distance themselves or live in the closet this holiday season to stay safe. I see you and I love you.

Please consider making a donation to my Trevor Project fundraiser to ensure that all queer and trans youth have a family they can turn to and resources at their disposal. The Trevor Project saves lives.

You are always welcome wherever I am and we will have the BEST holiday EVER because it will be filled with love. Come as you are I LOVE YOU