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Writer's pictureCalvin Dobbs-Breslin

Turning Point

Updated: May 26, 2021

Rockfish Gap, VA —> Luray, VA

Some hikers were watching the sunset to I walked to join them. Perched on a rock was a hiker with thick brown hair, illuminated orange by the golden hour sun breaking though the trees. He was wearing a bright orange shirt.



I sat on the rock next to him and introduced myself, no trail name yet. He was stoic and enigmatic. Trail name “Safety,” short for “Safety Shawn.” For those unaware, a “safety meeting” on trail is code for blazing (smoking weed). He smoked a lot of weed (and cigarettes) so he was named after the phrase. He was the first hiker I saw when Tom dropped me off, and here he was again. I wanted to know him.


We had a pleasant conversation and mentioned that he and another hiker name Toucan were heading to a “secret hostel” the following day in Luray, VA that they had read about in the comment section on Guthooks. The idea that my company was desired anywhere was an attractive invitation. I thought perhaps my new friends would distract me from my knee pain and staying at a hostel would give me an excuse to rest.


I fell asleep in my tent but slept lightly for fear that my new friends would leave in the morning without me. I woke early and waited for them. The three of us hiked out together and found the turn off to get to the “secret hostel.” It was down an abandoned fire road behind the Skyland Resort in the Shenandoahs. The downhill was tough on my knee but I was determined to keep my pain to myself. I still had to prove my ability to the men I was with, a pressure I’ve felt my entire life. I put on a brave face and sucked it up.



Somehow I made it down that mountain to the farm where a couple lived who offered their farm for hikers to stay. The “hostel” was a work-for-stay as in “shovel horse shit for two days straight and you can sleep in the stalls with them.” I would have preferred spending $40 a night to sleep in town if it weren’t for the fact that I also go to brush and pet the horses. They were majestic for a city person like me.


After a full day’s work the couple brought us foldable canvas cots to sleep on. Safety Shawn suggested he and I move ours outside to sleep under the stars (and leave Toucan to sleep in the barn). He put his cot right next to mine so we were laying as close as possible on them in our sleeping bags. It was a hot Virginia summer night so he took off his shirt. We gazed at the stars and just talked. We talked about everything and he seemed genuinely interested in my life. It was the first time in a long time someone had been that interested in getting to know me. He made me feel wanted.


I reciprocated his queries but he had a harder time opening up. I kept asking questions until he finally disclosed that he was on trail in the first place because he was healing from an abusive relationship with his ex-girlfriend. She left like a thief in the night and literally robbed him of all the money in their shared bank account. He was on the verge of tears and was reluctant to be vulnerable but in our burgeoning friendship, I wanted him to feel supported and cared for. He said he had trouble talking about it and the only other person he told on trail was Toucan who he had been hiking with for hundreds of miles. He trusted me and we had barely met. I sat up and he did too. Under the bright starlight I put my hand on his back and said softly, “It’s okay. Everything’s gonna be okay.” He said he doubted whether he could even finish the trail. The trail was his savior. He found himself through healing in the woods but he was running out of money because his ex didn’t leave him much. Reaching Katahdin would prove to himself that he was resilient. I told him I believed in him and that I would support him in any way I could. Then he kissed me.

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