Delaware Water Gap, NJ —> New York
Lionheart arrived the next day and since it was Saturday, he drove us to the local farmer’s market. We got a big apple pie freshly baked with locally grown apples. I went to the post office and picked up my resupply as well. In the evening, Lionheart had promised to drive a hiker to New York. He asked if I wanted to join them. I said yes and sat with the dogs in the back of his old cream-colored Jeep Grand Cherokee named Peaches.
After dropping off the hiker on the way back Is at next to him in the front. We saw leftover 4th of July fireworks by a river so we stopped to watch. The fireworks exploding over the river made the water sparkle and when I looked at him, the explosions reflected in his eyes. I lingered, on that sparkle.
By the time we got back to the church hostel it was full (because it was free) so he said I could sleep in the back of his Jeep which is what he did every night. I could barely sleep because he was inches away but I couldn’t touch him. It wouldn’t be right. He didn’t make any advances and that made me trust him more.
My tramily hiked out of the DWG the next day but I stayed with Lionheart and told them I’d catch them. I enjoyed his company and his dogs and he reminded me that he had driven specifically to give me the book and hike with me so I would have felt bad about leaving.
We shuttled hikers to Walmart together - it’s not often you get to do trail magic while you’re on trail. It was a different fun, like cheering for teammates after you run your own race. Between drives he opened up to me about his PTSD from his time serving in Iraq as a Marine combat driver and about his time in rehab for a heroine addiction. He had a troubled life growing up in Fayettville, NC where school was always too easy for him so he never did the work. He was a brilliant autodidact but I could tell that clandestinely he wanted a formal education. He knew a lot about a lot of things but some of it was questionable. He took his “question everything” approach beyond accepting proven facts as true and crossed into paranoia about being lied to and believing some conspiracy theories. He said crazy things sometimes like how he wanted to make the world a better place even if it was through the barrel of a gun.
He never told me specifically what happened on his deployments but he had been trying to atone ever since. Death was his biggest trigger, I assume because he had seen a lot of it. He was vegan and gentle, as far as I knew. One time a bird flew into his windshield and he cried for an hour straight then buried it. He always said he loved animals more than people, though that wasn’t saying much because he held people in contempt. “Why do you want to help people then” I asked. “I don’t even know if I do I just feel like I should,” was his answer.
I told him about what happened with Safety Shawn and he said he’d stay with me and make sure nothing else happened. I told him about graduation and my friends. I shared my discomfort and fear of the wilderness. I told him about my boyfriend. I told him everything.
The next day we hiked out together. I picked a shelter twenty miles away to stop at so I could catch my tramily. His brow furrowed and he says, “babygirl these pups haven’t hiked in a long time. Likely they can only do 6-7 miles today.” He didn’t say that before. He also never called me “babygirl” before and I didn’t hate it.
We stopped for a while at Sunfish Pond near the border of New Jersey and let the pups swim. We talked and laughed a lot which he struggled to do at first, like re-acclimating to riding a bicycle. As we spent more time together, he laughed more easily. We spent the next day together and the next day just talking and
getting to know each other.
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