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Writer's pictureCalvin Dobbs-Breslin

Back on Trail

Updated: May 26, 2021

Rockfish Gap, VA —> Luray, VA

Tom drove me to Rockfish Gap where I got back on trail. Before I even saw a white blaze I saw a hiker in a bright orange shirt smoking a cigarette. “Is this the way to the trail?” I asked. He pointed then walked away.


I found the trail and started walking, slow but determined. With my heart in my hand, I

walked - or limped, rather. In two minutes I saw a hiker. “Are you thru-hiking?” I asked as he zoomed by. “Yup! The name’s Frolic. What’s yours?”

“My name’s just Sarah,” I said.

Just Sarah. Interesting”

“No it’s just Sarah. I don’t have a trail name yet. I’m flip flopping.”

“That explains why I didn’t smell you down trail,” he chuckled. “Catch you up trail!” He said before he bounded off down the long green tunnel. I wouldn’t see him up trail however. I did two miles in four hours that day before I stopped at a shelter. On the way I was passed by at least twelve thru-hikers but I cried tears of joy knowing I had finally found the bubble. I didn’t care ho slow I was hiking or how much pain I was in. I had finally found my community of like-minded individuals all on this continuous footpath towards self-exploration, personal growth, and brave commitment to transcending the body and mind. I had found people who were on the same pilgrimage of self-improvement that I was, or so I thought.


When I arrived at the shelter around 5pm that day it was already full. There were section hikers, LASHers, and thru-hikers. The sleeping pads in the shelter were overlapping and there were several tents and hammocks. The hiker in the bright orange shirt was there too, still smoking a cigarette.



I was eager to make friends so I made my dinner in the middle of the campground and talked to many hikers. We laughed and I remember feeling excited by the potential for friendships. I squeezed into the corner of the shelter and slept soundly in a crowd of smelly snoring hikers. I had arrived.


The next day I packed up and hobbled down the trail. Hikers passed me so regularly I didn’t bother conversing with all of them. I was in the bubble in Virginia. I was in pain but I was happy. I met Beats, Passenger, Kaleidoscope, Big Tuna, IT Cowboy, Pussycat, Big Lots, Hook, and Slips. Everyone I met I lost however because I could only hike 5-7 miles a day due to my knee. It was frustrating to make a friend then watch them hike on. Nevertheless I persisted. “Tomorrow will be better,” I kept saying but “tomorrow” only ever brought more debilitating knee pain.



The fourth day on trail after Tom dropped me off, I set out with a goal of 10 miles. I started early and as dawn was breaking and the dew was evaporating, I watched that goal evaporate with it. This was the worst pain yet. I got frustrated and kept hiking to spite the body that had betrayed me but my body made it very clear that I was not in charge when my knee buckled and I fell to the floor with a pain that knocked the wind out of me. I was near a Shenandoah road crossing and I waited on the side to hitch up to a resort at the top where I would have enough phone service to call everyone in my life informing that I was the world’s biggest failure and I was quitting.


A kind older woman picked me up and in the car she said she worked for the EPA in DC and

that I reminded her of her daughter because I was brave and ambitious. I didn't have the heart to tell her I was getting off trail as soon as possible. We exchanged contact information and she said I inspire her. December of 2018 I received a Christmas card from her and her family but that’s the future.


I got out of the car and approached the lodge on the top of the mountain. I called my mom. I called my best friend. I called my boyfriend. I wanted to say, “I give up,” but I couldn’t. I kept hoping that there was some way for me to continue. Some way for me to heal and push on but I couldn’t even walk ten feet.


My boyfriend at the time said wait one day. He said, “camp the night and call me in the morning if you have to get off trial. If I don’t get a call I’ll assume you stayed.” So I limped into the woods. The next tent site was 0.4mi from the resort and I had all afternoon to get there. I figured I could crawl if I had to.


I arrived and it was a big space. The shelter was small so I set up my tent and filtered water. I iced my knee in the stream and ice it was but I kept it submerged to punish it for hindering my hike.

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