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Writer's pictureCalvin Dobbs-Breslin

Why come out during a pandemic?

Recently I’ve been seeing a bunch of jokes and memes about how everyone came out as non-binary and/or queer during the pandemic. But why is that? Let’s talk about it Everything changed overnight so naturally, we all had to change and adapt too. These changes look different for everyone. Over the past two years during lockdown, we were all away from the regular gaze and expectations of others we navigate being in society. Many of us spent more time with ourselves than we ever had. The parts we repress when we go outside and interact with others and the pieces of our truth/identity we hide to exist in the dominant culture could thrive for the first time. That environment was an invitation to consider our truest selves. All of our suppressed thoughts and feelings could bubble to the surface and for some of us, those suppressed feelings were concerning who we love and who we are. There’s no hiding from ourselves when we spend so much time alone.

Perhaps the pandemic taught us that life is too short and fragile to be anything but ourselves. If we didn’t already know who that was, it was time to figure it out. As always, we watched our leaders not give a damn about who lives or dies. Perhaps in our continued questioning of the system we questioned ourselves and our place in the world. When we deconstruct social structures we deconstruct the ways we are imbued with them and from the ruins we build something new that is authentic and true. During the pandemic I realized I had to make sure I’m someone I enjoy being with. For me, that meant being honest with myself about who I am but was not able to articulate until now. This deep questioning of the world around us and the very essence of the self as a social construct is terrifying. If you came out as ANYTHING during the pandemic be it gay, trans, bi, or you came out as a painter when you were living as a doctor, or you came out as unhappy in a 30 year marriage and ended it, or you came out as needing therapy - I APPLAUD YOU. You are doing great! We must ALL keep questioning the world and our place in it and fighting for ourselves and each other. Set yourself free. I love you


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